Burden

Italy vs Germany
2:0!!
Germany lost!!
no..

I went to hospital to take out my teeth bracket!
i was delighted!
and my teeth looks beautiful!
didn't hv burden!:)

then 4pm..
i hv to go to hospital again for some checking..
i thought it would only a checking..
then..
the doctor just put a retainer into my teeth..
i feel i hardly talk hardly eat or what..
(retainer is a thing that blocking my tongue)
you know what the doc said?
"you must put on this retainer for about 6 month
and must 24hours.."
What!!is that mean i should wear..
even i'm eating..even i talking..
and i could HARDLY pronunce when i wear this retainer..
6 MONTH!!WEARING RETAINER!!
HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE THIS 6 MONTH?
i can't pronunce better..
i can't eat hardly food..
eating is difficule..talking more difficule..
and i hv to command my TEAMATES!!
Surely..because of my pronunce..
they will LAUGH at me!!..
no ..i don't want..
i could easily cry if they laugh at me..
i hate it..but..what can i do?
i just only can wear this retainer till after 6 month..
and tolterate with all laughter..
Will i live through this 6 month?

August..hv many programme and activity..
i hv to wear it either..i won't talk..
i fear that everyone will laugh at me..
i won't talk..

does this mean i hv to cry everyday?
maybe in class i won't..
but..in my society..maybe..i will easily cry..
in my society..everyone look down on me..
why i still stay in my society?
Why?i don't know?what is the purpose of staying in??
no..i don't know..
maybe..that's my responsibility...
Responsibility?NO!that's ...

*sigh*
i don't wanna talk anymore..
talk more will make me more sad..
talk more will make me cry
talk more will...
am i permissitic?

I...HaTe..ThIs..
maybe..
I wIlL gO aWaY..One Day..